Stop wasting your time looking for the key to happiness. The door is open and unlocked. Just walk through.
I personally don’t buy into the hype about the bad economy and lack of job opportunities available. I have seen plenty of evidence over the past 5 years of friends, acquaintances and clients snagging great jobs in good organizations with a great salaries and benefits. What was primary driving factor to enable these individuals to achieve such success in finding new opportunities? They didn’t buy into the hype either. Their belief system didn’t support the job scarcity notion. Instead, they firmly believed that there was a perfect opportunity out there for them. And the resultant actions they took were guided by their supporting beliefs.
The best part here is that anyone can easily emulate the strategies that these people have acted on to achieve the same career success. However, most people find themselves majorly stuck in the dislike toward their current job or employer that they’re not able to see that there are job opportunities galore. They physically and emotionally have to let go of the energetic attachment they have to their current job and organization before they can move on. Here are 5 steps I recommend clients take to help them in the process of letting go:
- Ink your stink. Most people mull over all the ills of the workplace over and over again in their head. However, the pain you’re associating with your job or company needs to come out instead of replaying it in your head. Take 20-30 minutes and let all your “stink” pour out onto paper. Write down everything that bothers you by using the strongest words you want to. Say everything that you’d like to say to your boss or colleagues, but can’t. Don’t let it fester anymore. Now here comes the important part – when you’re done, make a ritual out of getting rid of it. This is crucial since you’re making a commitment to rid yourself of this burden. I tend to burn my sheet of paper or shred it up and bury it in the compost pile. Do what feels right to you and give yourself a pat on the back afterward for taking the first step to your new path.
- Dream up your ideals and wants. Here’s another writing assignment, but one that most of the times gets overlooked. As humans, we tend to invest so much energy into what we don’t want that we never give ourselves the permission to fully embrace what we instead desire. The point is to conjure up what your dream job or company looks like. Write down everything that is important to you. Even if it seems outlandish, put it down. Take a few days to complete this step. Carry around the notebook or sheet of paper so you can continually add to it. Make it a fun task that helps you stay positive.
- Purge the urge. The importance of this step is to help you stay focused on staying optimistic. You’ve done the work with getting all your negativity out and releasing it. You’ve gotten clear on what you want from your next job or employer. Now you have to discipline yourself to stay committed to being open to your next opportunity. So, you have the responsibility to stay away from complaining or gossiping at work or home about your job, colleagues, boss or company dealings. When the urge comes up, find a physical activity to distract you. It can be simple as a quick 5 minute walk, locking yourself in somewhere (a bathroom stall will work) to focus on your breathing for a few minutes or stretching at your desk.
- Review and detach. The list that you created isn’t meant to have dust collect on it. It’s for you to review 3-5 times a day. As they say, what you focus on expands. The review keeps you connected to what you truly want and sways you away from getting back into that rut of holding on to what you don’t want. It’s also important that you detach from a timeline and trust that things will fall into place. A lot of people give up when their dream job hasn’t lined itself up within 30 days. That’s where the ones who have gotten great jobs in “this economy” are different. They hold onto the belief that the perfect opportunity will come their way and commit themselves to staying in touch with their dreams.
- Focus on joyfulness. Another important part in the process of letting go of what you don’t want is to find playfulness and lightness in your life again. The burden of being in a job you don’t want, can wear you down physically. Therefore, you need some levity to bring back your energy. Find ways to add in joyfulness on a daily basis – even just for five minutes. Appreciate those moments and find gratitude in small things at work that can help you “make it through the day” while you’re still with your current employer.
Believe in yourself and know that your current situation is only temporary if you decide to commit to taking charge of your own happiness. The door is open. Just walk through.
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